“Hold my beer” is the unavoidable beginning of either an epic triumph or a heartbreaking failure. It is more of the latter in the following exhibits. There was someone nearby who was fortunate enough to capture these moments on camera seconds before calamity struck some unfortunate victim. There’s something poetic about the way these photographs make us hold our breath, hoping for a different conclusion, yet we know what’s going to happen. We’ve all wished to stop time, but these photographs are the closest we’ll come. So grab your beer, leave the pool, and tighten any loose nuts and bolts because things are about to get insane!
Run Like the Wind
So, Jesus might walk on water, but have you heard of José the water runner? We’re quite confident he had no idea he could accomplish this either. But if it takes a furious bull on your tail to uncover this capacity, then go ahead and do it!
Image Courtesy of Imgur/ themidgetking
No one in the photograph appears to be about to assist the poor man. But if you want to participate in a brutal and pointless sport like bull running, you best believe it, but don’t expect us to come to your aid.
That’s a Bullseye
As kids, one of our favorite games was cops and robbers, or the less PC variant, cowboys and Indians. Nerf guns were blazing, couches were transformed into fortresses, and it was all about each guy for himself. We recall it as if it were yesterday.
Image Courtesy of Reddit/ JewChooTrain89
Some grownups simply cannot let go of those happy memories and want to recreate the enchantment. It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye (we now sound just like our mothers). Unfortunately, this person came dangerously near to becoming a reality.
Have Your Cake and Eat It
Ozzy Osborne bit the head off a bat, The Red Hot Chili Peppers performed in only socks, and Jimi Hendrix set fire to his guitar. That is what we call rock and roll. Then there’s Steve Aoki, a modern-day dance DJ. Steve hurls cakes. That is extremely wise.
Image Courtesy of Reddit/ krilled
Unfortunately, this isn’t much of a deterrent for the typical girl who is constantly jumping on her boyfriend’s shoulders and obscuring his view. Actually, it’s more of an invitation! This is a fraction of a second before said cake lands on said simple girl to the tune of “Cake Face.”
Roller Derp
The iconic image of ladies with epic perms, high-cut swimsuits, and roller skates cruising effortlessly down Venice Beach promenade is pretty fantastic. Old school blond babes like Farah Fawcett and Olivia Newton-John in their white skates come to mind.
Image Courtesy of Reddit/ STORM55487
Then there is this less than proficient individual trying to reimagine such an iconic picture. Unfortunately, she is going down in history for less ideal reasons. Her epic fail was captured a moment before she hit the floor, and we assume it wasn’t a soft landing.
Someone Call a Priest
What we have here, friends is a scene from the yet unreleased box office belly-flop: The Exorcism of Calamity Jane. It was at the annual family mud wrestling day where everyone first realized; something isn’t quite right with aunt Jane…
Image Courtesy of Pinterest/ receitatop.org
Kudos to the photographer who risked life and limb to stand in the splash zone to capture this crazy moment. It looks like most of the mud has been splashed out already, so auntie Jane over here is going to hit the ground hard.
Take Me Out at The Ball Game
Being a spectator is almost as dangerous as being in the game. If a rogue bat isn’t hitting you, you are at risk of the top left man’s gum falling on your head! Let’s just hope that bat hits someone with the round end.
Image Courtesy of Pinterest/controversial.com
The splintered end might just take someone’s eye out! The lady in the yellow looks just about ready to stand up and call the manager. “I was placed in an unsafe seating area, and I feel personally victimized.” Sit down, Karen!
Wickedly Stupid
This is the 8th installment of the popular Potter series; Harry Potter and the Empty Beer Keg. Production has been halted on the count of a critical cast member breaking his neck by jumping out of a window on a broom.
Image Courtesy of SGXL.nl
Even though this might make an epic photo, there are way too many things that can go wrong for our liking. For starters, there is a giant boulder below him! Good luck getting that stick out of your butt after this, buddy!
Not All Dogs are Created Equally
It’s not just humans who fall victim to disastrous stunts, this poor puppy got his fair share of internet humiliation too. He forgot how to dog for a second and decided to stop a Frisbee with his face rather than his mouth.
Image Courtesy of Reddit/ ozone_one
It’s ok little dude; you will get it next time! (We are pretty sure he won’t, but don’t tell him that) Maybe, for now, you should stick to chasing your tail and leave the Frisbee catching to the real pros.
Physics 101
We aren’t sure where this guy learned about science, but according to us, gravity is a very real force, and this poor soul will feel its effects sooner rather than later. It doesn’t seem like his first chainsaw rodeo, though.
Image Courtesy of Reddit/ Piranhamonkey
The way he nonchalantly balances on the ladder with a deadly weapon/tool in his hand is frightening enough. Add in his total disregard for logic, and we have a disaster on our hands! At least wear a helmet next time, please!
How to Get Kicked Out of a Wedding
This is definitely not what the bride had in mind when she asked for a bridal shower! By the disheveled look of the groom, it was a night to remember, but this bride probably wants to forget this final parting.
Image Courtesy of Reddit/ crazy_woo
Luckily wedding photographers are quick with the trigger and always keeping a watchful eye on events and guests to catch moments like these. Luckily, it was at the end of the night, so the happy couple can now go clean off in their honeymoon suite together.
Laser Focused
Cats are generally aloof and on their own mission. But whip out some catnip or a laser, and you have them in the palm of your hand. But a good rule of thumb is to keep the laser pointed at a wall or down a corridor.
Image Courtesy of Photosight/ David D.
Not a part of squishy flesh where cat claws can do some serious damage! This poor girl is blissfully unaware of the pain that is soon to follow. We hope she repaid the photographer with an equally devious sneak attack.
This Party Is Lit
What sounds better than a costume party with lots of booze, bikes, and a BBQ pit? What could possibly go wrong? Famous last words… You can already see the pained expression on the poor guy’s face before he hits the ground.
Image Courtesy of Reddit/ InternetWeakGuy
When this guy decided to put on his yellow cape, we are pretty sure he didn’t anticipate his evening ending in the emergency room. We wonder which of the burn wounds, broken arm, or bleeding gashes are going to hurt more?
Swing Low
Before VSCO girls were a thing, girls would go to the park in their cutest tank tops and flip-flops and take a few snaps that would later get printed at Walgreens. If you were really fancy, you would even load it up to your Myspace account.
Image Courtesy of Reddit/ No1s_Perfect
We are guessing this photo didn’t make the cut, though. We would have never gotten on that swing set to begin with. Those wooden beams look less than kosher and certainly not sturdy enough to hold a couple of teenagers!
Book Smart
Now, this is a tactic we never tried. So, let’s get this straight, if you throw a book hard enough at someone’s head, the information will just spontaneously enter your brain? Where was this info when we were in college!
Image Courtesy of Reddit/ ShirleySexton
But seriously, a book can be a mighty weapon, literally. If it weren’t for her sturdy glasses, she might have lost an eye! We can’t help but wonder, what kind of WWE toddler threw this book with such remarkable accuracy and force?
Sweet-ish 16
Every little girl dreams about her Sweet-16 birthday. They might not all be filled with Range Rovers, and celebrity appearances as MTV might have to lead us to believe. Some of us have to be happy with a decent cake and some friends at our house.
Image Courtesy of Imgur/themidgetking
Unfortunately, this cake won’t be covered by the 5-second rule. According to our calculations, that cake is heading straight to the floor, face-down. Hopefully, she will be able to laugh at this some years down the line. Better luck with your 21st!
Tumbling Tyrant
We agree, it is never funny when an old person falls. But when said old person is a ruthless dictator that ran his country to the ground; it is ok to let out a little chuckle. This perfectly timed photo of Robert Mugabe, the former Zimbabwean president, blew up the internet.
Image Courtesy of AP Photo
Thanks to a quick-on-the-trigger photographer we have now been blessed with this meme-worthy image and the trolls of the web could unite to create perfectly photoshopped versions of ol’ Bob breakdancing. Thank you internet, we are forever in your debt.
Wrong Hole in One
This is actually the inspiration for the Happy Madison Productions Intro, you know, the one where the golf ball hits the camera screen? Well done to the lady for getting her ball out of the sand trap, though! That is no easy feat.
Image Courtesy of Flickr/ konderminator
The average golf ball travels more than 90 miles per hour, so yelling “fore!” wouldn’t have helped this camera person much. Hopefully, the camera shielded their face, and they didn’t have a nasty bump on their head the next day!
Slide Away
Taking the kids to the park is a delight for both parent and child. Kids get to play to their heart’s content, and adults get to sit on a bench watching the world go by. But things don’t always go as smoothly as planned.
Image Courtesy of Reddit/BigBoyo25
There are actually a million and one things that can go wrong at the playground, so parents better be ready to wipe away some tears. This poor kid is about to have a hard fall, and her face says she knows what’s up.
